Current

I'm looking at a painting of strawberries and roses. Perfectly detailed, conveying endless serenity.

I am sitting on a very low chair now, swatting mosquitoes around my posterior body from time to time. My hair is a mess. My face is oily. i'm vibrating my legs to prevent mosquitoes landing on me.

I can't collect one thing that would describe what i feel right now. I'm tired and sleepy. I feel happy, but something is bothering me. I feel primitive and juvenile.

I want to just stop everything and get away to get some much needed rest. I need money. I need time. I need discipline.

It's already December. Christmas is near. A Christmas Carol is a beautiful story.

I need something. I just don't know what. yet.