I Rock

I just rock. I walked back and forth from the library to the University hall to ERB II with a skip in my step and a huge grin on my face. I am so happy but the reason still evades me. You know how sometimes you just happen to come across an extremely pleasant day to live and you can't help but smile? I even sang along to some lss songs without a care in the world. This Japanese girl who was on her bike had to stop and dismount and look at me as I passed by. Neigh a care i threw at that. I kept on walking and how I loved that feeling. One time, I shared to a group of friends that my way of making myself forget about bad vibes and negative things was to take a walk, look up at the trees and the sky, stop by an awkward place and just sit and observe how wonderful the world is. I sit down on a grassy patch in the park or on the sidewalk, or on a bench. I try to observe the small things surrounding that little space I occupied. I would look at the peeling paint on the back of the bench, or the flower bud that peeks through a bush. When I sit on the grass, I look at the blades and how the dew, or sometimes the frost, happens to be there. Everything has a story to tell. Even these small, almost always neglected things. They make me happy. It usually works for me. Often I would take these long walks and I would get lost which I find to be itself satisfying and fun, too. Instead of the all important bike/自転車, I walk to the grocery or a nearby ramenya/らメン屋 now。 It saves me from the blowing cold when I bike, and I can listen to music without worrying that the police would hound all over me. And I find it helpful to focus my mind.

Today though, the happiness struck me as unusual. I have no reason to be happy. I have literally no money and so I have to live on my own flesh for a while until Tuesday. I had a weird midterms test that I can't tell if I did a good job or not. :) But see? I didn't intentionally type in that smiley. It was just automatic. Perhaps I overcame my dissent on several superficial things. The graduation thingy, money, this friend, etc. Or maybe it's just the way it is. When times go rough on you, there will always be that smooth road up ahead. Unless you're going to a dead-end. God, I hope not. 

I deserve it. I just hope they see that (fyi: OT, i just needed to say this). 

I just rock. I can't believe myself.