a refuge(yeah right).

Light bulbs in my head extinguished. Confused and dazed, nothingness filled my coconut shell. I panicked.

There was only one thing I could do and it was the only reasonable act then. I walked briskly. Pathetic as it was, I continued on until I reached the place my unconscious was leading me. There I lay, enveloped in my loneliness, relishing the quiet.

The rough idea of reality has fatigued not one, but many of people who do not welcome it. A rather stubborn and annoying event that we must constantly face, it has forged a steady battle for us on every flipside. This unwelcome presence has gotten everyone evidently stressed, particularly those who haven’t enough time to escape its emanating, unwavering occupancy. Nonchalantly, some do bath on its glorious, ego-boosting platform. But for some, given no choice, we reluctantly return its embrace, although secretly planning how to completely forget about its total existence. This now leads us to another event we seriously need. A refuge we are to seek away from reality.

A total abandonment of reality is sometimes downright necessary for us to better understand its existence, hence, better understand the self it contains, of which we know a little, promulgating another idea, on how important it is to understand one’s self to instigate the right path to a wonderful life well lived. How I understand this theory, is that it has to view reality and all its entities from a differing perspective, taking away the self from reality, learning it and understanding it without due connection to it. To fathom each entity’s relationship to reality and other entities. This however comes in its own time. We do not seek refuge from reality, just to think about reality again. We seek refuge every now and then because we want to escape the perils of reality. We obtrusively remark reality as a negative, but for an event that is so forlorn and unknowing, our own consciences kicks in. This is how we are able to identify and clarify the intangible lives we live in reality. In a way, we better ourselves.

I was in my room, taking refuge under my blanket. It was frustration that grappled me from my sentient self. Recalling how my teacher could possibly give such a low mark on my midterm exam, I controlled myself from infuriation. I held on to my pillow. I mulled over the events but later came to the realization that I can only do one thing, and that is to do better on the finals. I passed that subject with flying colors. I ended up looking at my perplexed self, smiling the whole time.

We all have different refuges. Be it your bedroom, your close friends, reading poems, or even your diary. They all have the same effect on you. They give you congruity and a decreased heart rate even if all you give in return are dampened sobs and salty tears. Your refuge is your own zone. Find it.